Tonight Josephine Review - It's Britney, Brunch!
DineHub Content Creator Martha Coleman booked the Britney Brunch for their birthday at Tonight Josephine, here's the lowdown on how it went.
I’d been dying to go to the neon-pink dreamland Tonight Josephine ever since their opening in Birmingham. I’ve also been a Britney Spears fan all my life, so “It’s Britney Brunch!” immediately hooked me. Every Friday you could flock to Josephine for an evening of fizz, food and the best Britney impersonator in town. My birthday was on a Friday this year, so the stars had aligned and it was fate for me to celebrate my birthday Britney style.
The first (and to be fair, only) hurdle we encountered when organising the Britney Brunch, was the booking. You have to book and pay at the same time, which can be difficult for some people. It had taken months for my posse and I to organise and book our table so everyone could pay (thank god for payday, right?). I understand why they do this, and after experiencing the brunch for myself, I would happily go through that process again.
We all dressed as different iconic Britneys (I was sporty Britney at the end of Hit Me Baby One More Time) and met outside the iconic pink neon sign opposite Grand Central.
As we descended down the spiral staircase, we were greeted with sights of glitter walls, pink neon bordering the ceiling, mirrored ceilings, pink velvet stools and bangers screaming from the speakers. I was in heaven.
A bottle of Prosecco in an ice bucket was waiting for us, along with 6 tall glasses. I squeezed into the velvet pink booth while my glass was being poured, and a staff member greeted me with a cocktail on the house.
Even nipping to the loo was an experience in itself. Pink wallpaper adorned with cute, minimalistic Tonight Josephine taglines, Hollywood lights on the mirror for some cute pics, and famous celebrity snaps on each door (including the iconic Lindsey Lohan mugshot).
My eyes were fixated on her
Everyone was seated, and the fabulous Drag host Donna Trump sashayed across to the DJ booth and greeted the room, hyping us up for what’s to come. Her crude humour had us all in stitches, and I was so happy to be sat next to the DJ booth.
She excitingly introduced our ‘Britney’ (aka Paviola) and oh my GOD, it was difficult to see a difference! Wearing slinky, black lingerie with long, silky black trousers with the statement smokey black eyes, she looked exactly like Spears. Her lip-syncing, dancing and overall nature was second to none. I screamed the entire time she was on the floor, especially when she whipped off the trousers, showing her legs covered in fishnet tights and and knee long, black leather boots. My eyes were fixated on her, even when she entertaining on the other side of the room.
During the break, of course I had to get a pic with one of Tonight Josephine’s iconic neon slogan signs. Most people take a pic in front of the beautiful tagline “Well Behaved Women Don’t Make History”; I decided to take one in front of Barbra Cartland’s famous words: “I’ll Keep Going Until My Face Falls Off”, fitting for my birthday night out.
Food had arrived, and I was excited to tuck in. You choose your order when you arrive, ready to enjoy during the break. I chose the vegan burger option, which was divine. The juicy Beyond Meat burger slid in between two adorable buns (yes, the buns were adorable) fresh lettuce and onion with some hot wedges on the side. It was the perfect pick-me-up to have between Prosecco glasses.
Britney strutted in once again in a sparkly, silver body suit to perform a mash-up of top Spears singles, this time bringing a riding crop and top hat for the Circus number. The crowd erupted in delightful screams (mine was definitely the loudest) with glasses in the air cheering on the beautiful performer.
What came next was a shock to me, and the rest of the venue. Donna Trump allured us with a mention of a man. What? We all looked at each other confused, but as this tall man stepped through the door to Doja Cat, it clicked with us all.
S T R I P P E R !
Here comes Gabriel. His bulging muscles clung tight to his Air Force Army uniform as he walked in front of us. He slowly unzipped his front, and approached a woman sitting on a stool. He grabbed her hands and rubbed them over his body, reaching his peachy buttocks. He lifted her hands and slapped them back down, while the rest of us gushed and squealed. She had a big smile on her face as he walked away.
On the other side of the room, he eyed another woman enjoying her drink. He scooped her off her stool and wrapped her legs around his waist, dipping her to the floor while we all cheered. Donna Trump was also in shock, telling us “I’ve never seen him do that before!”
We didn’t think it could get any more steamy; boy we were wrong.
He was half naked as he approached the final woman. His back facing us, he pulled his trousers down a little more so we could all gawk at his tight bum. He grabbed the woman’s hands and trailed them down his back, teasing that he’d reach the posterior. He whipped her hands away just before they touched his cheeks, finishing his act with a nice big tease.
It’s now game time.
Donna Trump had a music quiz ready for us, where we had to guess the name of the track and the artist. It was primarily 00s pop (including a Britney Spears track, obvs), which my posse and I were experts in.
We got 10/10, along with 4 other groups. One person from each winning group was nominated to stand in front of Donna (of course, I went up) where she informed everyone that because we had this 4 way tie, we all had to lip sync RuPaul’s Drag Race Style to a Britney song, with Donna Trump judging. I was elated (as a Drag Race mega fan) and one of the girls tried to run away, mortified that she had to perform.
Donna dragged her back, and the music started. Unfortunately, the Britney song that was played was one I wasn’t very familiar with (why couldn’t it have been Till the World Ends?!) but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I transformed into a dancing diva, going to each table and giving every move I could. I grabbed some girls to have a dance, so everyone could join in on the fun, and finished my routine on the floor. I hadn’t done that much exercise in a long time!
Sadly, I did not win, the girl who tried to run away did! In all fairness, she knew the words and tried her best, which led to Donna picking her. I did have a few girls come up to me later on telling me I was robbed, making me feel like Bimini Bon Boulash on Drag Race UK.
No eyes could turn away
There were two more performances from our wonderful entertainers to finish the night. First was Gabriel, this time in a classic SWAT team outfit, ready to rip apart. He sauntered his way to the table in front of us, locking eyes with an excited patron. He did the usual, rip the shirt and drag her hands down his abs, but he shocked us once again by grabbing her and strongly thrusting her into the wall. She squealed in surprise while I sat on the stool a few feet away from her with my hands over my mouth. He was turning up the heat and happy with the reaction.
This time, he stripped all the way down to his tiny underwear, and kept pulling at the sides of the waistband; no eyes could turn away.
Once again he teased us all, by pulling them slightly so we could see his V-line, but that’s all we got. Gabriel really entertained the ladies that night.
Our final performance was from our queen Britney, rocking the classic red two-piece, dripping in sequins and red knee high boots. This time our side of the floor had the main performance (to my delight) and she was mesmerising. She threw her long, blonde hair to the beat and jumped around the venue to her final lip-sync, Till The World Ends. Brava Paviola, Brava!
Overall, I couldn’t have asked for a better Britney Brunch. I had a smile on my face the entire time, the fizz was constantly flowing, the staff were lovely and the entertainers were fantastic. I’m excited to book another themed brunch at Tonight Josephine, and I can understand why they sell out so fast!
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Author: Dine Hub Team
